Cinematic Appreciation: Rogue One – A Star Wars Story

CINEMATIC APPRECIATION OBJECTIVE: I love movies. They are a combination of every art form- visual and audible, textures and colors and singing and talking and everything beautiful. So I thought I would take some time to fully appreciate the films that capture my heart the most.

Each film is scored on several different levels:

CGI (Computer Generated Images, or basically special effects): 0 being terrible and 10 being phenomenal.

COSTUMING AND MAKEUP (speaks for itself): 0 being inaccurate and 10 being perfect.

SCREENPLAY (script): 0 being filled with plot holes and 10 being flawless.

CASTING (even extras!): 0 being meh and 10 being EVEN THE PERSON ON THE SIDEWALK WAS IN CHARACTER!!!

MUSIC (soundtrack): 0 being a detraction from the film and 10 being an advantage.

And, finally, OVERALL FEELS (my fangirling emotions): 0 being none and 10 being I-can’t-breathe.

They were one with the Force and the Force was with them until *spoiler alert* they all DIED.

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Starring Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, a pilot that defects from the Alliance, Sidekicks #1 and #2, and Darth Vader.

CGI: 10 out of 10.

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!!10!! Out of TEN. Because it was fabulous and wonderful. They showed us four hundred million new planets (yay for intergalactic exploration) and probs did just enough practical effects that it was all pretty tangible. No glaring moments of green screen hatred*. The only thing I was maybe ‘meh’ about was that very first alien creature at Adult Jyn’s introduction that’s sleeping in the cot across from her.

*Apparently they used very little green screen in this movie. Lots of location shooting and all that jazz, which is my favorite.

COSTUMING AND MAKEUP: 9 out of 10.

One point off because I know you’re only doing it because of the originals but why did the costume designer in the originals think this lady had to be wearing this white robe thing?? It doesn’t match the rest of the world??

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But I mean, everyone else was really great. Also, I really appreciated the dirt and dust that had to be applied- because it doesn’t look like makeup. It looks like these people lived and worked in these outfits, and that’s why they were worn and dirty.

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*is so impressed I shrivel to the ground in awe*

Also, why does Jyn always have such nice makeup?? I mean, I get it, it’s not very much and it’s just there for cinematic purposes. But it’s there, and I notice. When did you have time? Why did you wake up with it already applied? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

We can’t close up this costumes section without admiring my children:

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SCREENPLAY: 8 out of 10.

I guess? Eight? Because I don’t really have any problems with it. I accept it fully and completely into the Star Wars canon, no problem.

But maybe it was kind of boring at times? I don’t know. I care more about the Skywalker’s than the Erso’s. So this movie was fabulous, a great bridge to link the prequels and the originals. It also showed Vader as he really is- the most powerful Jedi/Sith to exist. But it was… different. It wasn’t a Jedi movie. It was a great, solid movie about the battle between the Alliance and the Rebellion.

CASTING: 7 out of 10.

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How can you go wrong when you cast the human version of a peanut?

*coughcoughcassiancough*

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I didn’t know what I would think of Felicity Jones because my previous knowledge of her included The Amazing Spider-Man 2. So. But she was really pretty great. I mean, there were still times I didn’t love her, but the chance of me actually liking a female protagonist is 0.00003%.

I didn’t really like Chirrut though? *throws hands up to defend myself from onslaught of angry fans* He was weird. I dunno. Does he even have the Force??

Okay, but none of that even matters because Alan Tudyk as K2SO a.k.a The Saltiest Cupcake:

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And we had Anakin Darth Vader and his Sith Lord Sass™:

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MUSIC: 

This is a difficult one.

I mean, I like Mike. He’s the man. He does Star Trek.

But that’s the thing. He does Star Trek, not Star Wars. And that’s his thing. He can’t do superheroes, he can’t do Star Wars. BUT THEY KEEP MAKING HIM DO OTHER STUFF. Michael Giacchino has his strengths. Maybe it’s not everything.

I’m more angry about Mike doing Marvel than Star Wars. If I were to trust anyone with adapting John William’s music, I guess it would be Giacchino.

So yes? And no. I think it’s more yes than no.

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OVERALL FEELS: I THINK IT’S POSSIBLE TO SURVIVE AN ATOMIC EXPLOSION ISN’T IT LET’S GOOGLE SEARCH IT out of 10.

Do I accept it into the canon? Yes.

Do I ship the characters harder than Natashky? No.

Do I cry when K2 dies? Maybe.

Do I cry when Vader shows up? Definitely.

Do I want more Star Wars stories? Absolutely.

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  1. Awesome post. I loved this movie. Check out my comedy blog and give it a follow if you like it!

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