Cinematic Appreciation: The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey

CINEMATIC APPRECIATION OBJECTIVE: I love movies. They are a combination of every art form- visual and audible, textures and colors and singing and talking and everything beautiful. So I thought I would take some time to fully appreciate the films that capture my heart the most.

Each film is scored on several different levels:

CGI (Computer Generated Images, or basically special effects): 0 being terrible and 10 being phenomenal.

COSTUMING AND MAKEUP (speaks for itself): 0 being inaccurate and 10 being perfect.

SCREENPLAY (script): 0 being filled with plot holes and 10 being flawless.

CASTING (even extras!): 0 being meh and 10 being EVEN THE PERSON ON THE SIDEWALK WAS IN CHARACTER!!!

MUSIC (soundtrack): 0 being a detraction from the film and 10 being an advantage.

And, finally, OVERALL FEELS (my fangirling emotions): 0 being none and 10 being I-can’t-breathe.

The other day I was home alone because of a cold. So I had to watch a movie that (a) no one in my family would care if they missed, and (b) was still interesting.

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Starring Martin Freeman, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Andy Serkis.

CGI: 9 out of 10.

The CGI is truly incredible, because the movie is 7000% computer generated. However, since there is so much of it (honestly, I’d say more than half the movie is CGI) you can tell when they spent lots of money on a particular piece… and when they didn’t spend as much.

Goblin king? That must have cost a fortune. Which is lame because no one wants to see an obese goblin chuckling at his own lame jokes.

The warg-scouts? Not as expensive, especially the ones at the end of the movie, right before the whole trees-on-fire thing.

But these CGI people know their stuff. It’s impressive.

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COSTUMING AND MAKEUP: 8 out of 10.

SO. MUCH. COSTUME.

SO. MUCH. PROSTHETICS.

It’s insane. These costumes are so complicated, and they made the full size ones and half size ones for scale doubles and replacements and and and…

Also, they’re super amazing. I love how obvious the cultural differences are – the Rivendell garb is so specific, the dwarves wear clothing very different from hobbits, etc.

And apart from boy band members Fili and Kili, the dwarves have so much prosthetics and makeup that you can’t even recognize them without it.

SCREENPLAY: ….

So we’ve gotten to this point.

2 out of 10.

Maybe not even 2?? Like, when I like the screenplay it’s because of how Martin Freeman says the lines.

But what’s even going on? I don’t know. People do stuff and run around on greenscreen and decapitate orcs. The screenplay is NOT this movie’s strong point, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

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CASTING: 8 out of 10.

Because it’s not like I would have cast anyone else. And besides, this movie has Martin Freeman in it, so really I could give it a 10 OUT OF 10, but this movie also has some people I don’t prefer (*coughcoughcateblanchettcough*)

(Actually, I like Cate Blanchett. I just really don’t like Galadriel. Stop speaking in my mind, woman.)

Whoever said “Benedict, I want you to play a dragon”, wins all the cake. Brilliance.

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*chills*

MUSIC: 7 out of 10.

Howard Shore’s got a few good things going in this score. I really like some of the themes.

But I really don’t care about some of the others. Partly it’s because I don’t care about orcs/goblins/trolls, so I don’t care about orc/goblin/troll themes. Most of this soundtrack is not great background music. And Howard Shore has too much brass to be a favorite for me. But it’s still good, and the music definitely makes the movie 70% better than if there was lame music.

Oh, *gags at the thought*. If this movie had bad music, nobody would have watched it.

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OVERALL FEELS: confused out of 10.

I have so many problems, but without this movie we never would have

A. been able to say “I’M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!” as we leapt over fences.

B. gotten to the sequels where Thranduil reigns supreme.

C. gotten to the sequels where SMAUG IS A TERRIFYING CUPCAKE

D. seen Martin Freeman as Bilbo, and be honest: life would have been so much less without that.

The End.

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