Desires

For thus says the LORD God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15a

The world says strength is in yourself. Messages like “Follow your heart” or “Believe in yourself” put all the responsibility on you. Strength is someone who doesn’t give in, who gets what they want, who never takes no for an answer.

Our strength goes against what society says. In quietness is our strength, in trust is our strength. Society says we have to be strong ourselves. And I believe them. I crave that- I want to be strong, rock solid and unshakeable. But that reliability doesn’t and never will come from me. When I trust and am quiet, that’s when I have steady strength.

There are things I want- for me, I want to be in movies. I want to act professionally. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by that desire that I feel like I’m drowning. I want to act for God and I want to do well and be successful. I know that the Bible says we’ll look like fools to the world, and I don’t want to sacrifice my faith for fame, but I do want success. I do want people to like me, and I want to look good in the public eye.

I don’t want to look perfect. I want to look like my faith has grounded me, not made me nuts. I want people to see that my faith makes me strong, not weak. I guess it’s not up to me, though, how other people view me. Some people are going to see me as crazy no matter how sane I really am because if I’m following God, the world won’t understand.

I had a thought the other day- one of those ones with an obvious answer, but you’re not sure if you believe it in your heart or your head.

If I never get in movies, will I still follow God?

Yes. Obviously.

How about this one? If I never get in movies, will I still believe God has a plan for me? For me? Specifically laid out for me, the me that includes my acting ability and my desires. What if God’s unique, perfect plan for what I do with my doesn’t involve being in film? Can I believe he has something better than that for me?

Yes. I can, but it’s hard. What could be better than doing the thing I would love to do most in the world? What could be better than getting exactly what I want?

Following Him. Trusting Him. Eternal life could be a whole lot better than getting what I want.

 

 

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One Comment

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  1. These are hard lessons to learn! I’m still working on it! Love you!

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