I am going to speak openly about ALL my opinions on this movie, which means there will be spoilers. Consider yourself warned.
My ability to articulate my emotions for this film are almost non-existent. Bear with me.
First things first: Bucky. Buckybuckybucky. *sigh* Even though the whole movie was about him it still wasn’t enough. Everything that he said and did and the way he walked and the way he punched the living daylights out of people with that metal arm.
“Ready to comply.” Yeah, and I’m over here ready to DIE because the agony of watching you not exist in my world is too much. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY. Sometimes I can’t believe that I live on the same planet as this person. Sometimes I have to consciously remind myself that as unfortunate and heartbreaking as it is to think about, Bucky is- not actually real. *UGLY SOBBING*
T’CHALLA, gaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. I’m finding it hard to articulate all my emotions about this movie. But seriously. As if Wakanda wasn’t already the coolest place in the world, now there’s the super-amaze KING of all AWESOMENESS who is also a cat.
Let’s talk about another newcomer.
SPIDEY. Spider-Man (2002) was the first “Marvel” movie I ever saw. (“You see the quotations I’m making with my claw hands?” It means it kind of doesn’t count because it wasn’t MCU.) Even if it doesn’t count, I still have a soft spot for Spider-Man because of it. Web-slingin’ high-flyin’ superhero? Yeah. Also, the song he’s listening to in the hall? That’s called Left Hand Free, and is also the end credits song. And we all know someone who’s left hand is literally free at the end of this movie.
*Side note: Are there room for two spiders in this universe? Because someday I will be Spider-Gwen. It’s my life goal. You heard it here first.*
We watched a Behind-The-Scenes featurette and one of the Russo’s said something about how this movie is packed with action, and I was like “YESSSSS.” Because it really was. Natasha’s fighting skills especially were OFF. THE. CHARTS and I applaud Heidi Moneymaker and all the rest of the stunt doubles for being so awesome.
You know that part when Natasha meets T’Challa? And then that part where Natasha is talking to T’Challa after his dad dies? And Natasha and T’Challa and Natasha and T’Challa and all of a sudden I was like- “Wait. Is this a ship?” DID ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT?! I mean, I’m not sold on Brutasha anyway, but I ship Bucky and Natasha more than anything else. So what’s going on?!
*Note. Someone else ships Bucky and Natasha just as much as I do.*
What was interesting about Natasha to me is that she stood alone a lot. She ‘took sides’ but she didn’t stick to a side very well. At first it confused me, but then I remembered: she’s a double agent. She always has been. We see her playing both sides in Iron Man 2 and she talks about it in Winter Soldier (“I thought I knew whose lies I was telling.”) So now I get it when I see her siding with Tony and fighting for Cap: she’ll never stop being a double agent. It’s in her DNA.
You know, I don’t get it. I love Vision. It took all of 0.00001 seconds for me to fall in love with him in Age of Ultron, but in Civil War there were times when he actually annoyed me. WHAT?!? WHY?!? Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way. And it’s not like I dislike Vision now. I’m just sort of on the fence. I like Wanda better than Vision (well, maybe I always have).
Speaking of Wanda and Vision- VISIANDA. I love them for forever. The PAPRIKA SCENE. Paprika will never mean the same thing to me. I knew from the get-go that Wanda and Vision were together in the comics, but the movies have the liberty to change pretty much whatever they want. So it was nice to see that they’re actually SHIPPING THEM. *heart eyes*
You know what really hurt? When Pepper’s name came up and Tony just sort of stared at it. PEPPER. My heart is breaking. Pepper is one of the few female characters I actually like in movies, and she’s sort of stepping out of the picture. Unfortunately, even in the comics this happens. Pepper goes away. (She does come back, though, and becomes Rescue. Fingers crossed.)
Speaking of characters NOT SHOWING UP, where’s Nick Fury?! He was hunting down Hydra at the end of Winter Soldier and he randomly shows up to save Sokovians in Age of Ultron, so WHERE IS HE?! He’s the DAD of the Avengers, so I want to know WHERE HE IS.
There’s one other person who didn’t show up. Pietro. I kept waiting for him to appear and then I was like- “Oh, wait. He’s dead.” Yeah, sure. About as dead as Nick Fury and Phil Coulson and Bucky Barnes and Loki Laufeyson. He’s coming back one of these days.
ZEMO. OOOOHHHH MY PRECIOUS BABY CINNAMON ROLL. GAAHH. I know he’s supposed to be evil, but how can something so VERY ADORABLE be EVIL?!?!?
JUST LOOK AT THOSE CHUBBY CHEEKS!!!! He’s like a lost puppy.
*Speaking of puppies:*
You know what else I love about Zemo? (I mean, apart from everything?) HIS STORY IS TOTALLY NOT FINISHED. At the end when Martin Freeman is like “Your plan failed”, Zemo says “DID IT?!?”
This movie didn’t feel like the whole story. It felt like the opening sequence to something bigger. Which is why I’m glad Zemo said that, or else I would have felt like they tried to wrap the story all up in just one movie. I’m glad they didn’t try to wrap it up because I would be unsatisfied with such a short story- with just a taste of the tension and destruction the civil war causes. I need more. PLEASE TELL ME THEY’RE MAKING A CAP 4 and just hiding it all up their sleeve because THAT WAS NO END TO A TRILOGY.
The only way I would accept Civil War as the end of Cap’s trilogy is if Civil war was the first film of a BUCKY TRILOGY. Deal? Deal.
The only thing that could have made this movie any better (apart from being seven hours longer) is if Bucky and Cap had hugged. And I even know exactly when and where. Right before Bucky goes back under in the first end credits scene in Wakanda, Steve should grab him up in a big bear hug. Then I would cry and die and be forever happy.
Oh, wait I already am forever happy. And here’s why:
*watches gif for seven hours* *sets gif as background of every device in the vicinity* *hacks into every screen in the world and replays gif for the rest of time*