“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
I don’t want to set my sights low. I don’t want to settle for less than what I can actually achieve.
But I also don’t want to set my sights in a place where I’m not supposed to go.
I believe in God’s sovereignty, and so whatever happens to me, I know He’s in control. It’s so hard to let go, though, when I know the direction I want to go. And I always think I know how to get there.
God’s plan is always better. No exceptions. But I can’t see past my own brilliant plans.
So I don’t know where He’s going to take me. I hope He’s going to take me where I want to go- acting professionally in film. I would love that. He’s the one who gave me a passion for acting, the desire to work in film. But it’s not up to me to decide where I use that talent.
I’m in a waiting phase. (Ugh. Waiting? Even a 2-year-old knows patience is a form a torture.) It’s an awkward phase to be in, because I don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to do while I’m waiting.
I want to take every opportunity that comes to me. But I don’t want to work so hard at making my own way that I miss what God has for me. I also don’t want to be so focused on waiting that I miss my opportunity to take action.
What if God wants me to take action right now? What if He wants me to do local theatre even if the producers are glorifying the wrong things? What if He wants me to be a light there?
If that’s what He wants me to do, I’ll do it.
But what if He wants me to wait? What if by taking my own action I would miss out on a greater opportunity- on His action? What if I rid myself of a life I could have had by taking action when I should be sitting tight?
Since I don’t have a green light, I’m waiting. But since I don’t have a red light, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be stopped.
Maybe that’s the answer. I’m not supposed to stop. I’m not supposed to get in a cocoon of self-preservation and wait for God to drop me in Hollywood. I’m not supposed to ignore the chances around me.
I’m just supposed to follow God, one step at a time.
“Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.”
-Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel