Lately I’ve been dealing with envy.
And by lately, I mean all my life. But recently there have been a few things that just make me twitch, and I don’t get why.
It’s not like The Thing is wrong. Or harmful. Or ugly. In fact, it’s all the opposites. To The Other Person, it’s great! It’s helpful, and beautiful.
To me- I can’t stop thinking how The Other Person is so unappreciative of what they have. They shouldn’t have The Thing. They don’t deserve The Thing. If only they were in my place, they’d realize just how great they have it.
In fact, I’m pretty sure I deserve The Thing. I’ve had it so hard all my life and no one even knows. No one appreciates all the troubles and trials in my life. Everyone thinks I’m just a normal person, but I’m actually way better than all of them.
At this point, I turn to prayer.
God, please give me The Thing. I really need it- and it’s not bad or anything! It would totally glorify You. I would be so thankful, and a light to everyone around me- please, please give me The Thing!!
But praying is a risky business. It can- *gulp* – REVEAL YOUR FAULTS.
And that’s exactly what happened this morning.
The first thing was just a gentle nudge- He revealed to me that He put me in my life, and He put The Other Person in theirs.
Then things got a little more difficult to swallow. I don’t deserve The Thing. The Other Person doesn’t deserve The Thing. No one deserves The Thing.
In fact, no one deserves anything.
But for some reason, God sent His only Son to die for us – ugly and broken and undeserving – so that He could give us something beautiful, beyond worth, and far better than The Thing.
At this point, I started to argue.
But- but- but- it’s not like I can’t have ANYTHING when I’m on Earth. Right? God wants us to enjoy this Earth because He made it for us, right?
News flash. He wants The Other Person to enjoy it, too.
And then the Brass Tacks came barreling down. It came in the form of a 3×5 card with a saying scribbled down in pencil-
The LORD makes no mistakes.
He gave The Other Person The Thing. He gave me everything that I have, and even if all I see is a huge gaping hole where The Thing should be, He gave me everything I need.
My problem is that when I realize I have everything I need, I start to try and figure out what I’ve got better than The Other Person. So they have The Thing and I don’t? Well, I have this Thing, and they don’t have anything like that! Ha, ha! I’ve got something way better than them!
The Final Step in my realization this morning was Repentance.